Critics Pan Ronnie & Jonnie Over "Battlefield Dearth"
NEWS, Tarrytown, NY
May 24, 2000 - In an effort to bring one of the greatest Sci-Fi adventures to the big screen, producer John Travolta certainly dropped the ball by letting any of this mess leave the cutting room floor.
Travolta, a devout Scientologist, was apparently attempting to pay homage to his mentor and author of 'Dianetics' and 'Battlefield Earth', L. Ron Hubbard. Travolta sank a record amount of capital into this ill-fated project, and the ensuing debacle that was witnessed by millions of theater-goers was overshadowed only by Stanley Kubrik's 'Eyes Wide Shut', arguably the most accursed strip of celluloid in existence.
While some are skeptical of the claim that Hubbard penned a treatise in the late '40s capable of provoking insanity in its readers, others believe it was released as a movie two weeks ago.
Travolta, began his dubious career portraying "sweathog" Vinny Barbarino on the '70's TV sitcom, "Welcome Back Kotter", along side Gabe Kaplan as the titular teacher. He has since seen a remarkable, and thoroughly inexplicable resurgence in his acting career, even in light of starring in such awful movies as "Face/Off", with fellow over-actor Nicholas Cage.